I know that a lot of us struggle during this time of year, I know that I do. This time of year makes me feel dull, like my light is going out. I’m always tired, I’m even more introverted then I am when the weather is nicer, and almost all motivation to do the things I love is at an all time low. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some pretty good days where I do get out with my camera, or catch up with a friend, but winter is mostly blah for me. On those good days, I feel my brightness and my glow come back for a little bit, but it doesn’t last, the winter blues come back full force. It’s a genuine effort that I just don’t have sometimes, to make these days filled with light.
So far this winter, I have spent a good deal of time secluded from everyone. I just don’t have the mental energy to sit in the living room with my family or go out with friends. I know that I get so tired after a day at work, where I am constantly surrounded by people and having to talk with them. I have spent a lot of quality time with my Netflix account and books since the weather started to get colder. I’ve watched seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, plus the revival, the second season of Fuller House, two and a half seasons of Jane the Virgin (season three is currently running), I’ve watched the first season of Dirk Gently: Holistic Detective Agency, two seasons of iZombie, I’m keeping up with Riverdale as well as keeping up with the network shows I’ve been loving (This is Us, Gotham, The Good Place and Schitts Creek). I have also been re-watching Veronica Mars with my mom, because she had never seen it, and has been enjoying. Then, since October I have read eleven books and I’m currently working on the twelfth one. I’ve just been consuming this low energy loves to keep myself sane.
Even blogging has been an absolute chore, which, I suppose you might have noticed because they have been abandoned, when I used to write one almost weekly. Winter blues have got me feeling super blah. I have ideas for posts, but no motivation to actually sit and write them, let alone finish them. It’s a miracle that this is even being written at all, and it’s not without it’s challenges. I keep getting distracted by things, like my phone lighting up every ten seconds because I just posted a photo to my photo instagram and I’m seeing the likes coming in, or because I’m watching Pitch Perfect and I started to actually watch it and sing the songs instead of writing. I’m not kidding when I say that I have 17 drafts of unfinished blog posts sitting in my account, waiting to have new life breathed into them. I just cannot bring myself to finish one, and it sucks because it’s one of my outlets for my excess anxiety.
I’m trying though, I promise you, I’m so trying. I hate this time of year, it makes it hard for me to get outside. Not that I’m an overly outdoorsy type of person, but I definitely enjoy it more when the sun is shining, the weather is warm, and getting up early doesn’t feel like such a chore. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember, and you’d think that I would have found a better way to cope, but not really. I’m trying though, actually writing this post is proof, and the mornings I get up and actually go shooting. Even extending invitations to spend time with people when I know that it’s a real effort for me to do so.
I look forward to the days that are sunnier, warmer, and when the landscapes are greener. I look forward to my energy being restored, being able to get out more with my camera, not freezing to death or just feeling absolutely drained all the time. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, and I know that sometimes things are too dark to see the light, but I promise, it’s there. I struggle to see it often at this time of year, but I promise that things do get brighter. And I’ll extend this to you as well: if you feel like you’re in the winter blues and want to get out and grab a coffee, send me a message. I can’t guarantee that I’ll always be down, because y’know, winter blues, but I’ll definitely try to make that effort. Send me a message, or a text, let’s grab coffee, let’s go out shooting with our cameras. Let’s try to make the darkness of winter a little brighter together!