It’s been weeks since I’ve been able to sleep past five thirty in the morning. Most evenings I haven’t been able to keep my eyes open past nine, the feeling of exhaustion hitting by eight, and then there’s the fight to stay awake. The other evenings I would try to stay up late, in hopes that I could sleep in a bit, or at least enough that when my alarm went off in the morning that it would be what was waking me up instead of the chatter in my mind. This morning, there was still some chatter going on in my mind, but for the first time in weeks, it didn’t wake me up at the crack of stupid, and let me sleep in until seven thirty. And for someone who has been consistently falling asleep at nine o’clock, that was wonderful. Ten and a half hours of sleep. It felt glorious.
I count this as a little victory, and little slice of happiness. With things being crazy at work, cause y’know, retail hell during the Christmas season can get to ya, I’ve been more upset and stressed then my usual happy self lately. I’m actively finding little things to celebrate though, little things that make me happy. This morning, I woke up late and caught up on the two shows that I’ve been keeping up with this season, Gotham and This is Us. They’re not much, just two television shows that are so vastly different from each other, but they make me happy.
To add to that, I’m on my third book in a week and a half. I read the final novel in the Queen of the Tearling series, The Fate of the Tearling by Erika Johansen, and felt both joy and sadness with it’s conclusion. I was happy with how the author finished the story, but also a little sad because I had been waiting a year and a half for this story and now that it’s over, I don’t have a book that I’m really excited to wait for anymore. I also read Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick, and I enjoyed having a little nonfiction to mix in with what I usually read. Now, I’m reading a book that was shortlisted for the Scotiabank Giller Prize for 2016, The Wonder by Emma Donoghue, which is so out of the realm of what I normally read that I also count that as a little victory on it’s own.
To top it off, I there are small victories with my mental health. Though my anxiety is still a very real thing, and I had been seeing someone for the last few months about how to better manage and deal with it, I no longer have to go and do that. The person I was seeing and I both agreed that I’m doing better at dealing and managing it, at actively trying to make improvements, that I don’t have to go in monthly to talk about what is causing me to be anxious anymore. I’m getting better at pinpointing it, analyzing it, and working to maintain it so that I’m not panicking all of the time. It’s a wonderful little victory that I count as a huge win in my books.
I’m making lots of little victories in my everyday life too. Got up this morning? Victory. Did something I loved for a while? Victory. Caught up on my shows? Victory. Drank some delicious hot chocolate? Victory. Didn’t punch a crappy customer in the face? Victory. A lot of these things are so easy and simple, maybe even mundane, but making them into more than just those little things is a way that I try to keep the joy in my life. I don’t know, maybe I’m a little simple when it comes to these things, but maybe, just maybe I’m actually a little more complicated with it. Maybe in choosing these things as victories despite how simple and easy they are, I’m actively choosing to have a happy life, which isn’t always so easy after all.
So, celebrate the small things as well as the big things. Start seeing the things that you can do and maybe take for granted as little victories, it might just change your perspective. Give yourself that high five for just being able to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea. Give yourself a thumbs up for learning something new. Give yourself a gold star for choosing to show love or sharing joy, even when it’s not easy. Thoroughly enjoy the little things in life, because they’re the things that keep us going. Just living from big thing to big thing only has a little bit of joy in it, especially when you spend that in between time just waiting for them instead of enjoying what you have right now. I don’t know, I’m just going to love every good thing that comes my way, even if it’s just being able to get up in the morning, because some days, that’s harder than it looks.